I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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