How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
