Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
plz talk dirty to me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
