I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
