names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He felt like a one man threesome
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
