Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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