i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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