the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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