We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
