he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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