He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
