Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
