My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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