U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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