I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
