just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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