Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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