she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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