before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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