I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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