I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
