This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
