so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
