Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize