Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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