i just google imaged poop.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
