Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.