I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A+ Viking dick
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize