Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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  (850): We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie. http://tfl.nu/ozoq
  Replies (19) Good night (1214) Bad night (3089)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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  (717): Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t5hj
  Replies (31) Good night (6102) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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  (732): I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break? http://tfl.nu/m0ae
  Replies (8) Good night (3973) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  What's he like?

  (954): View more from Florida

  The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.

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  (407): What's he like? (954): The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/zcji
  Replies (29) Good night (7547) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either

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  (715): My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either http://tfl.nu/7c24
  Replies (7) Good night (3181) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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  (248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x
  Replies (18) Good night (1360) Bad night (2584)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

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  (989): private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen. http://tfl.nu/gtzt
  Replies (3) Good night (1623) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

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  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (559) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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  (423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk
  Replies (7) Good night (1697) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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  (704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1382) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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  (210): I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you? http://tfl.nu/lbmm
  Replies (5) Good night (1343) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave

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  (814): I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave http://tfl.nu/mtmf
  Replies (5) Good night (403) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.

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  (570): No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits. http://tfl.nu/elom
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back

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  (240): Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back http://tfl.nu/vrz8
  Replies (7) Good night (833) Bad night (379)

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