TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Terrible idea I love it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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