Sry I called you an 8
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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