You're so nebulous sometimes
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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