did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
