dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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