You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
