Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
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I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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