is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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