I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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