Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
