Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize