We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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