I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
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I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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