Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
