Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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