I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
