i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize