do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize