Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize