I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
