i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
