i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My vagina is officially offended.
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