What did we do last night that was yellow?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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