Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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