Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My balls are so social today.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
