Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
