Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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