i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
