I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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