kristin has been a bad kristin
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
