Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
