why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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