I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
