It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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