just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
