This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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