Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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